Share’s conversation with Lukwago

Share: How are you my Land Lord Mayor? Thank you for come to meet me since you are busy mayor.

Lukwago: I am incredibly fine, though that is a vexatious salutation, full of innuendo.  Anyway, what about you, Share; how is your in prope persona self?

Share: Eh, is that a greeting of you to me? If yes, I am physically combine, chemically fit, mathematical balanced, and biologically calculation.

Lukwago: Your response is indicia of an obnoxious old man.

Share: (nfudde nze). Have I say something wrong or right?

Lukwago: For as long as you are not in flagrante delicto, neither I nor your irk may construe your submission as sheer recalcitrance.

Share: (mama nze). Are we speak English or tongues?

Lukwago: Is something intrinsically wrong with you or it’s an ab extra case of actus reus that is in consumption of you, Mr. Share?

Share: Ssebo Lukwago, mbala mu ku magezi!! Don’t make my head make circles and rounds. I interview you a question, you answer the answers in smooth English or Luganda.

My Friend Share, you can actually suggestio falsi in sub silentio. And trust me, my proposal in in utmost uberrima fides. What do you think?

Lukwago: Well, in absentia of a prima facie case of linguistic quandary, then my extant English will stand.

Share: Whether your English stand or sit or squat, me I want to understand your sayings. So, Ssebo Lukwago, how is your relation with Janet Musisi going on now now?

Lukwago:  I have contended Ab initio till now that the people spoke through a vote and gave me a mandate, therefore, my presence at City Hall is ad infinitum till the people speak again. So, any tampering with my office makes Kampala city a bona vacantia.

Share: Shhhh Lukwago! We are Muslims. You are speak catholic words.

Lukwago: My friend, the linguistic issue here is cadit quaestio and is not contra bonos mores. Let it not arise again unless you have become the custos morum. Are you?

Share: I am very well, thank you.

Lukwago: I asked ‘are you’ not ‘How are you’!

Share: I have say I am fine. And I am ask question, you answer the answer. Don’t ask me.

Lukwago: I apologize for that corpus delicti.

Share: You said corpse? Is Musisi dead? Praise Go…I mean.. Allah Akbar. When did death take her…

Lukwago: Hey..hey…Share,  calm down. You have become a hostis humani generis!!! I can’t fathom this!! I was being nice and apologetic for my erstwhile misdemeanor!

Share: Miss who? Msscchew! Ok, back to interview you; when you are win the case there in court against Uganda and Tumwebaze, you will share the money of compensate with DP, your party, alright?

Lukwago: My friend, If Museveni, the supposedly parens patriae, can’t attempt that, who am i? I have emphasized time and again that the faciendum is absolute. So, that would accrue out of ex gratia.

Share: Is it yes or no? Are you give us money or no?

Lukwago: Do you mind if we discuss it in extensor, in camera?

Share: If good, yes, if bad, no.

Lukwago: You know Mr. Share, I hold you in loco parentis, but I am encumbered by your persistent mens rea to give it ample execution.

Share: (Ono mulalu!!! Very mud) Aa-hh, Mr. Mayor, you should go for short call, or I go.  

Lukwago: Sir, my corpus is in what we call sui generis. I am fine, like a fiddle.

 Share: (Wano wafiila muloge!). Ok, I am go for short call. But if it become long call, don’t worry, go away we will interview other day.