To the Excellent
Statehouse Nakasero or Entebbe
Kampala or Entebbe
Dear His Excellent,
RE: JOB OFFER
How are you doing, how is Uganda?
How is your wife or minister of Karamoja? How is the children? Thank you much
for becoming good parent because the girls have become woman even they marry
men. Even the boy have become a man, in marriage and even a commando. I am
remember he was gone to a commando school there in America. I was also in
America where I learn swimming, stapling, binding, and prison management.
His excellent, I am wander why
you have not become Field Marshal. If me was you I be even beyond Field Marshal.
If the boy of born yesterday have become Major Colonel, Brigades, etc, why
about you which was born those days of David Livingstone and Henry Motion
Stanley, and have been fight war ever since time and memorial? You have fight
every war, world war, French revolution, Ngoni migration, Majimaji rebellion,
Nyangire rebellion, you know that one of Kigezi in Bakiga!! Mbu Bakiga were
also rebel tihihihi! Your excellent, I am sorry for laugh-laughing, but this
one of Bakiga war eh!!
Your excellent, I am very sorry
for people that are disturb you and make your big head pain with nights of
unsleep! These one of Mbabazi who want to grab your animal that you slaughter
and hunted alone! Why can’t he gone and hunt his own self an animal? Now mbu that
young youths are doing division of themself and they bite each one another like
grasshopper in the bottle because they are versus Mbabazi and you. By the way,
do you eat grasshopper? They are very sweet, you can even eat it with wings and
legs, nga its eyes are look at you open like this!!
Your excellent, you are full of
vision, that why you saw that boy Anite and she love you too. Instead of putting
your photocopy in 2016, just draw on the poster the photocopys of Anite and
Musisi for campaign, you can even add mine, and we see who Mbabazi will draw on
his poster. Sejusa? Machar? Who? You beat him hands and legs down. He is
jumping the line backwards. He Mbabazi want to spoil East Africa unity, because
it be for people with name with K. You see for e.g. Yoweri Kaguta of Uganda, Silver Kill of Sudan,
Huuru Kinyata of Kenya, David Kagame of Rwanda, Moses Kabira of Zaire,
everywhere is K. Him Mbabazi should have come long ago during the M series; the
ones of Mbabazi of Uganda, Mubutu of Zaire, Moi of Kenya, Mwinyi of Tanzania,
Muammar of Libya, Mubarak of Egypt, Majambere of Rwanda, Mugabe of Zambia, but
not Mandela of Africa. Mandela is holy president.
Also sorry for Lukwago, he make
for you many noises there at Nakasero, you even shifted to another house in state
estate of Entebbe to run from his noises. Him and these people of walk at work
nga they are even jobless!! Then the followings of Lukwago also noised when you
almost chasen him from the chair of land lord of Kampala versus Musisi. Now
that you have remind him of the bikufulu and bijjegele that he wear and he
swell that he sing ‘mayor lord … mayor lord’, and that you have throw them in
water, he will gonna silent with anger or
hunger.
Mr excellent, I write this short letter to application
for a job, any job, even although this latest vacant will do. The one of dead
MP. I have now caught you red handed, so don’t start ngu “there is no vacant
wala wala, I am not yet refashle cabinet,wala wala!" No. Me those ones I won’t
allow! This vacant is very there. He dead, and I was at burial place, we burry
him, I left when after we have put cement on the grave yard. So don’t lie me,
and don’t send me to ask that park of Mafabi mbu asking “wamma Mafabi, should
president give Share a job?” This one is there, and is sure deal. Me I love
deal. Me I won’t stress you like these ones of Nsereko, Sekikubo, and this
other one who look like he be drunk forever, etc. Me I will be there near Oulanya, nga I am kye! They bring book, I signature. They bring Motion, I put
hand even leg up to say big yes.
But if another person has already
apply it, leave them alone, and give it to me. But if not, I can also be Kyabazinga
or even mufti. The other time I was wanna apply for being headmaster of
Makerere university or Kyambogo, but no sooner was I buy a pen to write the
application and then those people passed my behind and put those other people
of Mugonyera and Ddumba and Katunguka. I was also want to application for
Kabaka job but I still love my life and breathing. You know talking on Kabaka
is like putting stick in a saucepan of these tough ants with painful teeth, the
nsanafu. Remember other time when you refuse him to enter Kayunga, or when the
graves of the dead body of Kabaka were burning on Kasubi, those Baganda put
block roads and they see a old boy of long nose and they say ‘Tambula ng’oMuganda’
and he start to walk bounce-bouncing like boy with demon in pocket! What they
did to him!!! You were not there!!! So, these people of Kabaka don’t jokes.
Your excellent, thank you for job
offer. You have vision.
Your friend in need,
Share.
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